“New” Character Building

Even though you don’t want to, even if you know it won’t work, even if you already think you know all about the God thing, if you do this consistently, with all the passion you have at the moment, you will come to have a new relationship with a higher power… guaranteed!

Upon awakening:

Hit your knees (metaphorically or physically)

  • Ask a power greater than yourself to be with you, and to stop your mind from racing.   Pause for 1 minute.
  • Ask for one thing you want, something none tangible, peace, unconditional love, calm, joy, balance, bliss, order, abundance, prosperity, laughter, etc.
  • Then ask yourself three questions:
    • How would I feel if I had that right now?   Spend one minute imaging-in how it would feel.
    • How would I look at my day if I had that right now?  Again, one minute pondering that.
    • How would I act with the people I meet today, if I had that right now?  One minute pondering.

If opposing thoughts come up when pondering, just let them go and continue pondering.

Then share what you got with someone else.  Do it every day.  It only takes 5 minutes.  This is what step three means when it says, “determined and persistent trial”.  Even if you don’t think you are getting anything out of it, keep doing it, it is working!  Sometimes you just don’t see it right away.

paul@possidude.com                    (951) 751-7541                   www.possidude.com

Return to Day Care (Two)

In my example of my friend’s daycare (see post Return To Day Care), why was I so impressed?  Looking at what she does, I can see how simple it really is, these principles she teaches.  First, she gets the child’s attention by calling them by name until they look at her.  If they don’t respond she confronts them face to face.  Once she has their attention she asks a question, maybe “what do we do with our toys when we are done playing”.  If they won’t answer they go in time out to think about it.  If needed, instruction is given in time out.  Eventually, they learn, “we put them away”, and they do.  Being children, this process is repeated over and over and they learn appropriate behavior.

What about us big kids?  Nobody is there to get our attention, stop us, and ask us questions about our behavior.  Sometimes I think there should be.  When we are questioned, we act defiantly.  We have our reasons to justify our behavior.   We’re grownups, don’t you know!  And boy do we use that excuse for all kinds of absurd behavior.

What we are all learning is, behavior modification.  It seems like the answer in how to get along in the world and to a large extent, it is.  However, let’s take a little closer look at this.

In daycare, initially, awareness is presented to our consciousness by something outside of us, which is appropriate for little children.  They are then stopped from doing what they’re doing, again, by something outside of them.  A question is then asked, basically, “What is the appropriate action right now?”, which forces them to ask themselves the question.  They then go to their mind for the learned response to the question, and get the “approved” right answer.  Works well, but….    

Without being shown, by example, the spiritual application of these principles (not the job of a day care), and having it modeled for us, we just learn compliance…  how to behave while the “authority” is there.  When the authority is not there, we make our own rules.  In other words, “I know what you want me to do, but when you’re not here, I’ll do what I want”.  (my friend’s comment is always that parents don’t model and teach appropriate behavior at home)

It is truly awful to admit, as adults, that is all too often, how we behave.   So how can we expect our children to behave any differently?  So, what is the solution?

Same principles apply:   We are presented with an awareness that we are off…  you might say our higher power, or consciousness, taps us on the shoulder and says “hey bud, you’re blowin it here”.  It’s an inner authority, not your mind…   just like in day care, we have to build that awareness by repetition over and over, because there’s no one on the outside of you getting your attention, it’s an inner knowing….   that knowing requires us to stop for just a minute… again, there’s no one there forcing us, it has to be an act of our own will… we then have to ask, “what is the appropriate action in this case”, we are not asking our mind with it’s limited knowledge, but one who has all power, all knowledge…  (no belief is required, just ask)… we will then get an answer.  Often we mis-read the answer (always because we missed a step or acted in haste) and fool ourselves, but the more we practice the clearer and clearer the answer comes through…  We then need to act on it, each time. 

There’s no “right” action every time, even when it looks like the same situation.  Remember…  we’ve been trained to think in terms of “right” and wrong our whole life…  That’s how our ego’s have captured our very souls.  Learning to align our will with our creator’s is the beginning of a lifetime practice. 

Applying these principles in the order formed described will produce the appropriate answer for each and every situation.  Is this hard work?  You bet it is.  Growing up always is…

 especially when you’re almost sixty!

Your comments are always welcome!

Recovery From Major Illness

In 1999, I was diagnosed with colon cancer.  I’ve never written about it before.  I wasn’t avoiding it or anything.   I talk to anyone that asks about it.  I just never realized how valuable my experience might be to others.   Which is pretty funny seeing how I’ve been in a twelve step program for over 27 years, you’d think I would have known.  But isn’t that part of the problem? 

I’m not going to talk about the devastation you feel…  how alone…  scared…  and confused you are, or how the world… as you know it,  just collapsed.  Or, how crushed you feel at first…  and then your mind takes off…  telling you what it all means…  desperately racing for an answer.  Or how hopeless…   victimized you feel…  as a puppet of the medical establishment.   And I won’t talk about how…  everyone seems to have advice for you, that you just have to follow…  with the best of intentions…  and how your head aches from the confusion of it all…  and you just don’t know what to do…   all the time you’re gripped by a fear that you can’t seem to get away from for more than a minute…  and, most of all…  most of all…   I’m not going to talk about how you, hate yourself, for the self-pity you’re feeling.  Because maybe, you don’t feel that way, but I did!

But it is your life, it has to be your decision, even if you chose to do nothing and die.  No one can tell you that it’s the wrong choice, because it’s your life.

If you decide to live however, I want to pass along this little bit of information I got from my O.M.D. (Oriental Medicine Dr) that really helped me a lot.  When I asked him how he looked at illness, this is what he told me:  You have a body, a mind, and a spirit or soul.  When you have a problem with your body, you feel it physically.  If you feel bad long enough, you start thinking,  “is this ever going to go away”  and your mental attitude takes a nose dive.  Eventually you start to, question, or blame God.  Your whole being is out of whack! 

It makes no difference where you start, he said, but you have to begin somewhere.  I’m a doctor so I get your physical body feeling better, then your attitude changes, and you thank God again for your life.  (In my case he did that by nourishing my body with MSM and supplements that my body desperately needed.)  He was right of course.  When I felt physically better my attitude changed and I was thankful to be alive.

I still had to have surgery later, as the tumor had gone too far.  The depression I felt after the radiation and chemo was horrible.  I couldn’t seem to find one good thought.  One day, after cursing myself one more time for being such a coward and not ending it all.  I looked at my 15 year coin from AA lying on the nightstand. On the back were the words, “to thine own self be true”.  Once again I had to use my OMD’s advise and take action in one of those areas.  Since I couldn’t concentrate on a book or anything, and I couldn’t do anything physically.  I had a friend pick me up and drive me to a meeting.  I was too weak to walk on my own, so he half carried me in.  I didn’t want to go, but I knew I had to do something. 

I didn’t know what I was doing at the time but by showing up in the meetings, I was working on the spiritual part by applying spiritual principles.  I was willing to take action to get out of my sense of isolation, I was listening to other people and their struggles, I was exposing what my mind was telling me, so it wasn’t a secret, eating at me, and I started to get better. 

It’s been twelve years.  I still go to meetings.  I work at exercising and eating better.  I maintain a positive outlook by reading uplifting literature and I pray and meditate daily.  My experience has been, the more fervor (passion) I put into the three areas of my life, the more connected I am, the more life I have to give.  The last twelve years have been the best years of my life.  I am more alive and happy today then I’ve ever been and I know tomorrow is going to be even better!

Your comments and experience are welcome here and for more information on getting connected, groups, or principles, visit other posts on this blog.  Or start with this one:  https://possidude.wordpress.com/2011/04/25/the-group-solution/

Only One Power

Naturally occurring truths are unaffected by what we think of them. Take gravity, it doesn’t matter what we call it. It isn’t necessary that we know it by the name gravity; it just is what it is and remains unaffected by us. It benefits us to know about it, not so much by name but the way it operates. It’s not even important that we know how or why it works. However the more we learn to cooperate with it the more we can utilize the power that is already there to benefit our lives. Often our “great ideas” come from just observing these truths and aligning ourselves with them.  Sometimes we go about forcing things to happen, which is the way we overcome, temporarily, the natural power that is always there. Because we use our minds to do this, consciously or unconsciously, we begin to think we, individually, are the power, and not just the recipient of it. We tend to forget that power will win over force every time. It just might take a while, but power wins every time.

Suppose there is only one power and it operates in, as, and through everything? How would we align ourselves with that power? By principle it would work the same way as gravity works. If we lean over too far in any direction we fall, so we have to stay in balance. Rather than force the flow, go with it, might be another thing to keep in mind. The more we come to recognize our oneness, the closer we are to the source power. It is in our relationship to the One that we stay in balance. Avoid then, the illusory thoughts of anything but our oneness. So awareness of the One power as our source is the only truth needed to connect us to our true power.     So… Get Yourself Connected.

                   PossiDude (It’s who you really are!)           www.possidude.com

Real eyes your Life!

In order to recognize something as true for me, in my life, I have to real eyes it, by using my Real Eyes.  Often, that means closing my physical eyes, asking the true power within me, how should I see this, or, what does this mean to me?  Then quietly listening for the answer. 

That simple action activates all these principles:  awareness (of a power greater than my mind), willingness (to pause and let go), asking (for the right perspective),  and receiving (listening for the answer). 

I used to wonder why I could ‘know’, infinite possibilities exist, yet only see one, two if I was lucky.  I kept using my physical eyes to try to see.  My physical eyes are connected to my mind.  My mind would go into my past  and tell me what everything I was experiencing means. It did it so fast, I never really had a choice.  That’s its job, to “anal eyes” data.  I was never meant to operate from my mind, but nobody ever told me that.  

 To question the mind’s authority is blasphemy, and any attempt to do so is met with the rath of the small “god” I created and think I am!  That character took a long time to build and it functions the same way every time, so I need a new Character.  This new Character can only be  built by applying the principles, stated above, as often as I can, one day at a time, using my Real Eyes.  It takes persistent and consistent effort.

As Albert Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem by the same level of mind that created it”.

Return to Day Care

I have a good friend who’s been running a day care, for over 25 years.  I am always fascinated, when I go there, by the way she teaches.  It’s so simple I often think, why don’t adults do that? 

One time I walked in and there was a kid screaming in the bathroom.  I was concerned, but everyone else seemed calm, what’s up with the kid screaming, I asked?  Oh that’s just Melissa, she was screaming so I told her to go in the bathroom until she was done, because she could scream if she wanted, but the rest of us didn’t have to listen to it.  She’ll be out in a minute.  What if she doesn’t stop, I asked?  She’ll stop when she’s done.  Pretty soon a little head peaked out of the door, my friend asked, are you all done?  The little head nodded.  Okay go outside and play.

Another time I walked in and it looked like a love in.  Kids were hugging each other.  Again I asked, what’s up with that?  Oh, Andrew, and Kyle were using their hands inappropriately and hurt their friends.  Now they have to take care of them, because that’s not how you treat your friends.

Sometimes, I’d just go in there and sit on the little chairs, and get down on the kids level.  I love it, not all the time mind you, but I always got a new perspective.  I’d watch as my friend would consistently re-direct the children;  where do our hands belong… what do we do with toys when we’re done playing… teaching awareness.  Over and over again.  Helping them to make the right choices.  Consistency is the key she’d tell me.  What comes to my mind is; Courtesy, kindness, justice, and love are the keynotes by which we may come into harmony with practically anybody.

I guess you’d say it was old school day care, no computers or electronics.  They even had ‘mud day’ where they’d come with a change of clothes and play out in the mud… remember how you loved getting covered when you were a kid… maybe not…. anyway, the kids love it.

One time a kid fell off the jungle gym and had an obvious broken arm.  He was sitting there patiently waiting, his mom was on the way in to take him to the hospital.  I was about to go into my ‘reaction mode’ when I came in and I looked at my friend…  she was calm, reassuring, he’s fine she said, mom’s on the way, everything is okay.  She was so reassuring, the child just looked at her and remained calm.  When the mother came in a few minutes later, she did the same thing with her, everything’s going to be okay, nobody freaked out.  They went to the doc’s and everything was okay.

The point of the whole story;  Maybe we should find a way to put people who have gotten off track, criminals, in a one way mirror box, put the box in my friends day care…  make them sit in a kids chair the whole day and just watch the kids learn appropriate behaviour and how to have fun with nothing… talk about rehabilitation, what better way then to “become as little children”…    but then, couldn’t we all use that?

Thanks Lyda!

Things Worth Pondering

Financial insecurity, worry, fear, self-pity, depression, anxiety, resentment, anger, greed, gluttony, lust, any one of these babies can take me out of my day and knock me for such a loop that I just can’t seem to get out of.  It seems so real!  Look at the evidence I’ve got, this is real, my mind says!  I start out blaming the environment, or the situation, or other people but after all is said and done my own mind attacks me.  It’s all your fault, you’re such a loser, you really messed up this time, what’s wrong with you anyway, how could you have been so stupid!  It’s merciless.  I try positive thinking, but I just can’t find one positive thought, even if I do my mind just finds something wrong with it.  My whole world seems to be a piece of crap.  Then I think, I’ll call somebody, but no one seems to be the right one to call, and I’m stuck with me and that severely troubled mind.  (I’m sure this never happens to any of you, but it happens to me, and when I’m in the hell of my own making, a minute feels like eternity)

From nowhere the thought comes, what if you’re just wrong?  What if it’s not what you think it is?  Somewhere, deep down inside, I know it’s a good life, I just can’t see it.  (As they say in Maine, “ya caan’t get thare from heaa”.) 

I know I can’t keep going on with this insanity, I have to stop.  So I stop, whatever I’m doing, I just stop everything… for just a moment of peace… and ask, whoever… that little piece of something inside me…  can I just feel your peace…  just for this moment…  I breathe in slowly… let it out… breathe in peace… exhale stress… I begin saying, slowly… let go….. 

I begin to feel that connection.  The connection to the piece of me that is a part of the whole.  I might not even have an idea what the whole is at this moment, but I can feel it, and it’s a lot better than the way I was feeling a few minutes ago.  I begin to have a new perspective… nothings changed… but I have a new perspective, it feels different. 

Rather than go back to what I was thinking about before, I think about the connection to that piece of me I’m feeling now.  What if everyone has a piece of that, and the total of all the pieces is, “the peace of God”? 

And so it begins, the pondering of things worth pondering.  Piece – peace, where did these words come from, and I remember a song… maybe it’s “tell me all your thoughts on God – I really want to hear them”, or Amazing Grace, or any one of a million possibilities.  Maybe it’s a religious quote… scripture… or words from a book I read.  Maybe it’s a conversation I overhear in the grocery store and all of a sudden… I wake up….  in the present moment…  I wake up from the nightmare I was in and I real-eyes it’s a beautiful world, full of good things and good people, I’m grateful just to be alive!  It seems ridiculous that I could have been so upset by, whatever it was, a minute ago.  Right this minute, everything is okay.  Why don’t I just stay here, in the moment, connected with the peace of God? 

I get all caught up in who I think I am, what it all means, and I lose my connection to the only piece of me that’s real.  But it can never really be lost, it’s who I am…..  despite all the seeming evidence to the contrary.  Thank you God!

Surfing (a way of life)

You can’t wait to get in the water.  You paddle out.  You get out to your favorite spot, smelling the air, feeling the vibe, looking around, just being there in the moment, its incredible, you’re totally connected!  You’re  just sitting on your board, you don’t need anything.  It’s that feeling of being connected you live for.  So you look at the swells coming in but you’re not in a hurry, you wait…   just wait for the One.  You see it, you start paddling, you feel it, you’re up, you intuitively shift your weight, and move down the board, you got it.  Then you think, I’m just gonna….  and you wipe out.  You went from inspiration to inspirwishin.

What happened…  you had it?  You went to your mind and lost the connection.  Once again you tried to think how to ride that wave.  You know it doesn’t work, you have to be there and work with it.  Oops!  You even love the awareness you get when you screw up.  No sense in beating yourself up, just get back out there.  You’ll get connected again and you know from doing this a thousand times, it only gets better.  A deeper connection…  you love it!

How do you feel that connection out of the water?  The surf is it for you, you tell yourself, and it is.  But does that mean you can only feel it in the surf?  What if you could feel that connection outside of the water?  What if you could identify what you do spiritually in the water, in terms of principles?  Things that work each and every time without fail, like being connected;  lose it and you wipe out, or just have a lousy ride. 

Isn’t that the question we all have, no matter where we feel our connection?  Church people feel it in church, surfers feel it in the surf, recovering people feel it in meetings, athletes feel it in the sport, wherever we feel that passion, that real connection with something much bigger than ourselves, it’s our way of life. 

We tend to define ourselves by the method that helps us feel our connection, religious person, surfer, alcoholic.  In truth what we are after is the same thing.  Our connection to our source.  We use our own particular method to get it.  We think our particular way is the one way, or the best way, and we can’t understand why other people don’t get it. 

What if our “way” was provided for us by our source so that we could come to know our creator in a personal way, unique to us?  And what if there are principles, truths in our “way” that are the same in every other “way”?    What if we learned to cooperate with these truths, just like we have to cooperate with a wave?  We know we can’t control the wave but if we align ourselves with its power we can have a real sweet ride.

My son’s connection to his source is surfing.  Honestly, I’ve never been surfing in my life.  But I have a way of life, a connection to my source.  So, my apologies to you surfers if I’m way off here, but knowing principles, I don’t think so.  In my life I can’t fight the power, I have to get quiet, listen and feel my connection to it, ask for what I need, wait patiently to receive inspiration, go for it, and let myself enjoy the ride. 

 I’d love to post your surfing stories (or your way of life) and how you identify and apply the principles, of your way, in all areas of your life.  Just reply to this blog and I’ll post it.

A Not So Obvious Problem (ego)

You sit there quietly, doing your meditation, just letting all your thoughts go.  You listen, and in the stillness an inspiration comes…  out of nothing really…  you can recognize it because it’s not something you would usually think about, or it’s at a much deeper level then you’ve ever been before.  It’s usually very simple, it seems like, “why didn’t I consider this before?”,  or,” how could I have missed this?”.  Over time we come to recognize it as simply inspiration, connecting to our source, some call it God-consciousness.  But then what do we do?

We get excited by the inspiration, we start thinking about what it could mean.  How important it is for us and the difference it could make in our world.  We start thinking about the inspiration.  Yet we know that it came from our attempt at not thinking.  It’s like we get the beginning of an inspiration, one thought, and we say to our inspirer, okay got it now, I’ll run with this.  The ego steps in and claims authority for the inspiration, and always with the best intentions!  Now that we’ve got the answer, the ego says, it’s time to proclaim the truth to the world.  Never mind we’ve never actually applied any of it to our own life.  Its inspiration and we know its right, besides people really need this information.  We’ll right a book, that’s it!  Like the world needs another book, right?

We’ve got enough information.  What helps the most is the examples of people demonstrating the inspirations they receive.  Actually living a life of inspiration, with enthusiasm, stepping out in the world and expressing themselves, daring to be who they came here to be.

No matter how great the thought, inspiration, or idea we receive is, it’s nothing compared to the Inspirer!  So just stay with that power, trust it, talk to it, and you’ll become the person you came here to be, and you will live that life of inspiration!

The Group Solution

Individually, each of us is a group: many components that make up a whole. We have three basic parts, body, mind, and spirit.   We were designed to function as a whole.  When all three are balanced we are complete within ourselves.  As with any group, if one component doesn’t get used the other parts try to compensate for the missing one, we are still a group but, we are not as we were created to be.  Intuitively we know something is missing and we look outside of the group hoping to be able to find something on the outside of us to fix the problem.  Because we are incomplete, any attempt we make eventually turns out futile, and what we are left with, is an insatiable appetite for more.

Human beings in general make up a larger group, again, many components that make up a whole.  In a group, there are no rich, poor, black, white, strong, weak, and there is no age or ethnicity.  There are only individual components that make up the whole.

The people in the United States of American is a group within the human group, again, many components that make up a whole.  The writers of the Constitution knew this and stated “we hold these truths to be self-evident”.  I maintain we lost sight of those self-evident truths.

We look to the government to supply us with these truths and that is not its purpose.  We as citizens and individuals have lost our connection to the group called, “we the people”.  We have also lost our individual connection to our spirit(our we).  We have so overdeveloped and allowed our minds to be our ultimate authority personally and socially that we are even afraid to talk about our spirits.  This is not a religious issue.

Personally, I have found in my own life, I lost sight of spiritual principles, or maybe they were never shown to me without being attached to an organization, maybe I mixed up spirit with religion, I don’t know.  What I find is that there are absolute truths that I can count on working each and every time, just like gravity.  It has been my experience that if I sit quietly for a few minutes, ask my spirit to help me let go of my thoughts, listen as if my life depended on what I hear, it will bring me into the present.  Then I can begin a conversation with whosoever is listening when I’m by myself, and ask a question, and I will receive an answer.  I then have to take action on that answer.

Once I am connected and in the moment, I feel complete so I’m not in fear of you or any seeming problem that might appear in front of me.  When I’m centered in being, I don’t need to “do” anything.  My mind is free to be inspired by the spirit and unlimited possibilities exist from that place.

As a species, we human beings have just assumed we are mind-powered, that is, our minds control everything, but that is not the way we were intended to be.  Intended by who?  By our creator of course!  We are spiritual beings, which means we are constantly being given inspiration, but we forgot how to listen, and we lost our connection to the source.

Like everything else in life, I find that there is a logical order form to reconnecting with our source:

1.  accept, become aware that we temporarily lost our connection to our source

2.  pause, stop all action and get quiet once we become aware

3.  ask our creator (knowing never fail) what do we need to, be, see or do, here?

4.  receive, what comes without judgement

5.  take action, or not, depending on the inspiration we receive

No belief is necessary, only an open mind and the willingness to try it is required.  It’s as simple as dropping something.  You don’t have to believe it will fall, it just does, because it’s a truth, a principle.  But no matter what path you are on these truths need to be applied now.  It’s not a one time thing, it’s a way of life!