The Core of Selfishness

I woke up around 5:45 am and started planning my day, the problems I might have, how to get it all done, the regular stuff.  I managed to mumble some kind of a prayer about God directing my thinking.  When I rolled over, my girlfriend was standing there wishing me a good morning….

She lives a few houses away.  I told her a hundred times I need my space in the morning and I felt the anger start.  I wanted to yell at her and throw her out, but I ‘knew’ something else… she climbed into bed (fully clothed) and wrapped herself around me… I asked God, what is going on here?  I just let, what is, be.  I started to feel something in my stomach… it felt good… this woman loved me.  Here she is offering me all this love and I want to throw her out.  Isn’t this what I’ve wanted my whole life… someone to just love me unconditionally?  I started to ask myself, what the hell is wrong with me.  I hadn’t noticed until then that when I first woke up I wasn’t feeling anything at all… it was all thought, and none of it very good.

But now, I was feeling good…  I rolled over to face her… I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was… how good she felt in my arms.  She got me out of my head with all its crazy thoughts, and into my body.  When I’m centered in my body, I feel good… when I feel good, I thank God for the feeling… when I thank God for the feeling, I appreciate life… when I appreciate life, I see the beauty of life everywhere.

And then it hit me, what my problem was and always has been… I’m so dam selfish!  I’d rather hang onto my own miserable thoughts than allow myself to experience the love that is constantly being offered to me by my creator through whatever is present in the moment.  I hold onto my own ideas at all costs.  It’s like I thumb my nose at the gift of life and try to create my own version of heaven, which usually turns out to be hell.

I read recently that the highest thoughts are those that contain joy… the highest words are those that contain truth… the highest feelings are those that we call love… these things are of God… anything else is not of God.  It matters not where you begin… one always leads to the other… thought… word… deed…

When she offered me the love and I let myself have it, my feelings changed… when my feelings changed, I told her how wonderful she was… when I told her the truth, my thoughts changed and I couldn’t even remember what I was worried about… I was living in God’s world… full of appreciation and love.  And by leaving the sex out there was no danger of perverting this moment into something selfish.

I recognized that it is only my selfish pursuit of my misdirected thoughts that produce my own misery.  Thank you God for that awareness!


You Can’t Help It

I was talking with a friend today about walking in the real world, not the world as we see it with our physical eyes, but in the world as our creator sees it.  We had a conversation around asking for the right perception as we go through today’s day.  We both committed to ask for the presence that is who ‘I am’, our soul, our spirit, our savior, or just plain something (#1 name for God) to guide us and show us how to walk in this day… each step.

Now I know I won’t be able to do that perfectly, probably, if I’m  lucky (Gods nickname), I’ll remember to ask for that presence a few times today.  But, if I don’t quit, I can’t fail.  If I do it today as often as I can and I do it one day at a time, I’ll build an awareness of what it feels like.  As we walked together in this conversation, my friend said to me “I feel like I’m walking in the Garden of Eden”.  And we were, because when I let go of the “things” of the world (all my thoughts), the truth underlying them presents itself in its fullness and the world, as it was intended by its creator is revealed.

As we were saying our goodbyes, my friend was thanking me and I was thanking him and he was saying how grateful he was for our little talk.  I shouted out to him “you can’t help it”.  And you can’t help it.  The truth does not need my help.  I need to align myself with it.  When I do, I can see the world new in each moment, when I don’t and I try to help it along, I get caught in the mire and lose my awareness of love’s presence.  That’s okay, I’m going to do that, but as often as I can, I can let go and ask for that presence to be there and it will because the truth is always true, everywhere, and in all ways.  Thank you very much!

Contamination – Hazardous Thinking

I took a HazMat training course for a company I once worked for.  One of the things I remembered is the statement that;  “dilution is not an acceptable form of disposal”.  The premise being that contamination still exists, although only in a minuscule amount and it has the potential to grow and multiply rapidly.  Without treatment the hazard is still there.

I’ve heard it said that if you keep pouring clean water in a container of dirty water, eventually it will become clear and clean.  However, according to science, it’s still contaminated.  Another way to put it is “if you start out from contamination and don’t treat it properly, it still exists, even though you might not be able to see it”.  Having a choice, it’s a no brain er to drink from a pure source rather than one that’s contaminated.

What we’re really talking about here is the principle of contamination.  Once something has become contaminated it needs to be treated or it can’t be used without further contamination.

What about our minds?  Haven’t we contaminated our minds with some of the thoughts we have?  We have so many mistaken ideas and wrong beliefs in our mind.  Is it any wonder the world is in the shape it’s in?  So what do we do… we try to have good thoughts…  we pour good thoughts into our mind… positive thoughts…  our thinking becomes clearer…   we feel better…  things seem to be clearing up…  but… according to the rule of dilution, our minds are still contaminated. Often it only takes one bad event…  one wrong thought…  and we start that troubled thinking again.  The virus, bacteria, or contaminates grows.  It multiplies rapidly until we’re back to toxic contamination, and negative thinking again.  So, you ask, how can we treat this mind to get rid of the contamination?  The answer is we can’t.

We have to start with a new container, an open mind.  A mind not occupied by our thoughts.  The good news is; there is, within each of us, a clear stream or pool of uncontaminated consciousness that we can go to for clean, clear inspiration.  It can’t be contaminated by the world; it is the essence of all that we are.  All that’s required is a letting go of the contaminated container, a simple request, and an openness to receive what comes.  A new container (like when you partition off a section of your hard drive because your computer has become corrupted) filled from a pure source and a living from that new container.  The corrupt container is still there, you just no longer use it.  We have a tendency to go back to the contaminated container because it’s so familiar to us.  It’s all we’ve ever known.  We can tell however, when we use the wrong container…   it just doesn’t feel right.  Every time that happens…  I mean every time….. just stop…. become quiet and ask.  That’s all it takes……

As we build an awareness that we’re using the wrong container we become more willing to surrender the corrupt thinking and begin again, new, from purity.  It has been described as being born again…  the living waters…  the water of life… Zen mind…  Christ consciousness…  and countless other names.  It is the surrender of the contaminated, corrupt, world view and the recognition of, and surrender to, the pure, divine consciousness that has always been there underneath our corrupt thinking.

Taking it A.P.A.R.T. so it can come together is a method that, when applied, treats contamination of thoughts.  Awareness of mistaken thin king; Pause and become still; Ask for peace, inspiration; Receive something (the most commonly used name for God); Trust, take action on what you received.

Thank you for taking time to read this.  Your soul knows the truth!  Go with the soul.

The Master (manipulator) Baiter

Ever heard the expression “don’t get tempted by the bait”?  We all get tempted to engage in things we know we shouldn’t;   gossip, criticism, sarcasm, blame, all the ‘so called’ seven deadly sins. There seems to be no end to them.  They all have one thing in common, although it’s difficult to see at times.  They’re all just thoughts we have in our minds.  But where do these thoughts, often negative, come from?  It appears we have little control over them.  We can spend a lot of time and money trying to find exactly where and how these thoughts came to be, and it may help somewhat, but it still can change what happened.

How about a different approach?  What if, whenever we run into conflict with another person or event, we choose to look at it as the ‘bait’.  We are being tempted to go into the endless argument in our mind again.  The ‘bait’ is really our opportunity to connect to a larger part of our self.  This larger part has access to, and is, more than our minds.  Maybe we should listen to Paul McCartney words, “speaking words of wisdom, Let It Be, Let It Be.

We have been believing that the events in our life are what produce the problems.  With that assumption, they’re always outside of us (the only place they can’t be solved).  What if, underneath the apparent ‘bait’ we think is “out there” …  the only real bait is our own mind?  Our obsessions with our own thought is the master baiter that ever tempts us to ‘figure it out’, constantly.   We’re all attracted to our own thoughts, we think they’re the best thing since sliced bread, no…  that doesn’t even begin to address how we feel about our thoughts…  we love our thoughts.  If we be honest about it, most of us worship our thoughts.  Why do you think we argue our case so much, even over the most unimportant stuff?  We’re addicted to our thoughts.  I know…  you’re different…  you know people like that…  but not you!  That’s what everyone says. … rather than accept the truth…  the master baiter is running your life!

Until we accept that fact, we won’t look for, or trust, anything else.  Oh sure, we know all about God…  we talk about him all the time…  why, I can even quote scripture…  and famous philosophers…  but I still rely on that mind for answers… just in case….

I can keep listening to the master manipulator that keeps putting the bait out there… no, wait this is important… listen to me…  it’s different this time…  listen to my reasons… worship me…  this will really work…  you can trust me…  The bait the world offers me is nothing compared to the bait my mind offers, that’s what make it the master….. you get the idea!

It’s just my ego, the false self I built, supposedly to protect me from the world.  It has no reality but what I give it.

Check your own track record.  See if it isn’t true for you.  But don’t expect your mind to agree with you.  Trust your soul….  It knows!

Go with the Soul.



Used to Be and Used to Have

I am not who I “used to be”.  I ‘used’ people, places, and things to ‘be’ who I “thought” I should be.  When the things I used were taken away, nothing was left.  Or so I thought.  Turns out, who “I am” is infinitely more than I ever thought I could be.  Most of us are afraid of our own power, not our personal power but the real power that operates in us, through us, and as us.  How could that be, you ask?

Imagine, if you will, all of us, each and every one, constantly being inspired with new thoughts and ideas from our creator.  As children we began to receive these inspirations.  Remember now, they’re brand new, never been on the planet before.  We try to express these ideas to someone, our parents, maybe.  But to them, these ideas sound strange, they never heard anything like them before of course, because they’re new.  Our parents go to their brain (the database of info) and the brain says, ‘ridiculous, nothing like that here’.  So your parents turn to you and say something like “don’t be ridiculous, that’s a crazy idea”.

We don’t want to be looked at as crazy, so we push the idea away…  this doesn’t just happen one time…  over and over again…  don’t be stupid… you’re crazy…  that will never work… or, my personal favorite “who do you think you are?”.  All of this of course makes us question the truth moving through us and we begin to separate ourselves from who we are and we learn to shut of the inspiration.  We can’t really do this but we can dismiss it as “ridiculous” instantly, using our brain’s programmed logic.  Internally, we “know” something is missing and we begin the game of trying to find that ‘something’ outside of ourselves.

I “used to have” a lot of things.  I “used” people, places, and things so I could “have” what I thought would make me happy (although my ego was very good at hiding this).  If only I had more money, property, prestige, more people loved me, more sex, ad infinitum.  You get the picture.  It never works for very long.

The bottom line, we’re afraid.  Afraid of who we really are.  Afraid of a power, that power, that I am presence that is our very source, the power that beats our heart and breathes our breath, call it what you will.  We “think” the power is outside of ourselves.  In that character we made from our imagined reality, we feel unworthy of its presence.  We try to project that power outside of our self and then judge our self with our own projection.  Insane, isn’t it. (so our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making… although we usually don’t think so)  Check your own track record.  See if it isn’t true in your life.

The character (ego) that we made doesn’t give up easily.  It will try to deny these accusations.  Like weeds, the ego just wants to survive, but if we don’t want weeds in our yard or our ego running our life anymore we have to recognize, and get rid of them every time they pop up.  But just like ridding the yard of weeds doesn’t create the yard we desire, we have to put the things we love in, so we can create that life we desire.  It’s important to remember, however:  there’s only One Garden.

The creativity that is who I am needs to co-operate with the creativity of that I am presence in you to produce what our creator intended us to experience.  Every aspect of creation is equally important and necessary.  You already know this.  I am simple re-minding you in case you temporarily forgot, so you can re-mind me when I do.

The Twelve Steps are a method I apply that can remove the weeds from my garden, there are countless others.  If you seek out a method you will find it.  Seek out an experienced gardener that uses that method and learn from them.  You may even create your own method although that’s a lot more difficult.  If you do, do it with a friend, because the ego can’t see itself.

In moments of self-doubt, when the world tells you you’re crazy and nothing makes sense, and you don’t think you’ll make it, and you can’t remember anything you’ve ever read:

Be still and know, “I am God!” and “I am with you always!”

Change (my, your, our) Perception – Change (my, your, our) World!

Exclusion (the act of excluding something or somebody)

The world that we created is a world of exclusion. Black/ white, Christian/ Jew, short/ tall, old/ young, rich/poor, smart/dumb, on and on it goes, a world of duality. It doesn’t work. What about everything in the middle? Sure we try to call that balance, but in the world of, seeming, reality that word, doesn’t fit, you either have or you have not, as we often hear. This is the world we see with our physical eyes. The world we see with our eyes is a false world, based on incomplete information, a world where we base our beliefs on how things appear to our eyes alone.

Collusion (secret cooperation between people in order to do something, not permitted, against the law)

What if we didn’t use our eyes to make the world? Close your eyes for a second and ask yourself if any of those terms would mean anything to you. They have no meaning without eyes to judge. If you couldn’t see with your eyes, what would be important to you? Money, color, size, shape, none of it, would matter, would it? What would matter? Being connected, knowing that you are connected to other people would matter. Kindness would matter, treating people as we want to be treated. Feelings would take on a whole new meaning. Instead of spending all that time in our heads, thinking about what everything means, we’d have to rely on our feelings much more. Touch and physical contact would be normal in a world that didn’t use the physical eyes to “see what’s missing”. Because we couldn’t see the differences, words would mean much more. We would become more aware of a thousand other senses we never knew we had, because we were too busy “judging” and putting everything in its proper box.

Inclusion (somebody or something included in a group or mixture)

Imagine your thoughts about yourself in a blind world. If no one could see with their eyes there’d be no judgment, nothing to set the standard of “okayedness”. We’d all just be an equal part of the one group called humanity. Getting along with and connecting with others would be our primary purpose. With everyone blind, there would be no one to judge us so self-esteem would be the order of the day. We would be free to be, just the way we are! Hence, the expression “Love is Blind” really is true!

These are just my thoughts on going from the world we are in, a world of exclusion, to a world of collusion, to a world of inclusion. It seems to me that a conversation around these ideas might be of more benefit than, who won the game last night or, what some celebrity was wearing. What do you think?

We need each other so we can enlarge our perspective.

Power and How to Align with It

I was driving, and, in L.A., everything is an hour away.  I learn alot on the freeways!   My mind tends to wander on useless stuff, and I didn’t want to get into any negativity so I asked the universe, “What should I be thinking about?”.  What is truth anyway, and what is the power that runs everything, where’s it come from?  Nothing heavy, mind you, just your standard run of the mill questions.

I know gratitude always make me feel good, so I began thanking the universe for the car I was driving.  Thank you very much for the car, thank you for this steering wheel, thank you for all the people that made the steering wheel, thank you for all the people that got the materials for the steering wheel, thank you for the plastic material that it’s made of, thank you for the machines that made it, for the people who came up with the idea for the steering wheel, thank you for all the people that transported the materials to make the wheel, thank you for the people that assembled the steering wheel…    and that’s just the steering wheel.

The truth is, the entire universe conspires to bring me everything I need, all the time, even stuff I don’t know I need.  I should be in a state of continual gratitude.  I should be in awe, all the time…    Well, maybe I am and I just don’t recognize it because I choose not to believe I am (interestingly enough that’s God’s name according to Moses).  But, what if it’s true?  I don’t have to believe in gravity for it to be true.  One and one is two, I can argue with it all I want, but it’s still true.  So the truth is always true, even if I can’t see it temporarily.  Maybe I’ve been believing a lie and just acting ungrateful for so long I forgot the truth?

I know it sounds crazy, but of course the truth would sound crazy to a crazy person, wouldn’t it?  Who wants to admit, let alone accept, that they’re crazy?  Maybe, underneath all the crazy thoughts, there is truth… something that is always true… something I can depend on… the power that operates in, as, and through, me.  All I have to do is let go of all my beliefs to the contrary and be willing to start living from that truth!

Ah, but how do we let go of all our old ideas you ask?  One idea at a time, just like the hour drive I mentioned earlier.   I let go of what my mind had to say about the drive and focused on a truth, in this case gratitude.  It could have been the recognition that it’s all good, or any other truth, for that matter.  The question is am I focused on problem solving or the recognition of a good life, right now?

The problem is the problem, and the solution is not in the problem.

I get caught up in my mind trying to figure it out, and that’s the problem.  My mind is there to show me what stands in the way of the truth, once I see what it is, I have awareness.  I have to stop thinking about the problem and concentrate on a truth.  Underneath the seeming problem there is peace, calm, beauty, tranquility, abundance, and love.  I can ask the universe to show me who I am.  That’s the solution and because the truth is always true, it never fails, I can only fail to recognize it.  In which case I only have to try it again and dig a little deeper.  I need to remember, I’ve been believing what my mind tells me about everything for so long, it’s going to take awhile to uncover all the crap I put on top of the truth, so I’ll have to be content with patient improvement.  The only thing that matters is that I make a beginning and keep on trying.  If I don’t quit, I can’t fail!

 Reply to this post, I’d be interested to hear your comments!