Scales From My Eyes

Most of my life, I never question what my mind tells me.  I like this, I don’t like that, this person is okay and that one’s an asshole.  I never questioned the authority of self… the mind that tells me what’s what.  What I find is that when I do question “my truth” I open up to a much larger truth.

I use my eyesight to navigate in the world and my perception is always accurate, to me.  You might say it’s my ‘truth’.  But that doesn’t make it “the” truth, it’s just my truth based on my life experiences.  My perception of what “the” truth is, is often distorted by some of my experiences. We each have our own perceptions based on our experiences.  But, you have to admit, our perception is sometimes distorted.  Our distorted perception has put scales in front of our eyes.  So let’s call our perception the ‘distorted truth’.

Underneath the distorted truth is apparent truth?  Apparent truth is what is apparently so.  Let’s say it’s 80 degrees outside.  That may be hot for some, nice for others, comfortable, uncomfortable, whatever but the apparent truth, it’s 80 degrees.  My eyesight, my opinion, or my distorted truth, has no effect on apparent truth, it’s just what it is, 80 degrees.  When I let go of the consciousness of what my distorted truth is telling me, I rise to what is apparently true and, I come closer to “the” truth.

With Awareness …that there just might be something more than apparent truth …and the willingness to Pause …and let go of what seems apparent,  I can let go of my worldly perception… (more scales from my eyes)… and begin to look from a new perspective …insight …Inner sight!  Instead of use my eyes with all their scales, I can Ask for a new perception, a new vision of what the truth is.  And I shall Receive.

Why?  Because, deep down in every man, woman, and child is the fundamental idea of God… in the end, it is only there that it can be found.  When I ask that part of me for the new perception …what I then receive …doesn’t come from my mind …or the world’s view …it comes from the core of my being… God.  Creation itself.  And It’s always brand new… so it rarely seems like the right answer to me …because it didn’t come from my mind.

The question is not, will I receive.  The question is always, will I Trust enough to take action on what I receive, in spite of my eyesight and what seems apparent?

Do I ever misinterpret the messages I receive?  Absolutely, but this is a method I have found that really works!  Even when I make mistakes, it builds my relationship with my creator.  Not a theoretical or intellectual one …an actual living …day-to-day …personal relationship that grows stronger each day. And as the scales fall away, I begin to remember …who …I am.  And then I remember who you are …we are no longer separate or apart from …we are a part of the whole.  I find the word ‘holy’ a very interesting word.  My definition is:  The conscious recognition that we are equal parts of the one whole. We are One.

So anytime you don’t like how you’re feeling, try …  Taking it A.P.A.R.T.  … so it can come together!

For more info on the APART method or to schedule a talk or workshop please contact me at:

paul@possidude.com  or (951) 751-7541

The Core of Selfishness

I woke up around 5:45 am and started planning my day, the problems I might have, how to get it all done, the regular stuff.  I managed to mumble some kind of a prayer about God directing my thinking.  When I rolled over, my girlfriend was standing there wishing me a good morning….

She lives a few houses away.  I told her a hundred times I need my space in the morning and I felt the anger start.  I wanted to yell at her and throw her out, but I ‘knew’ something else… she climbed into bed (fully clothed) and wrapped herself around me… I asked God, what is going on here?  I just let, what is, be.  I started to feel something in my stomach… it felt good… this woman loved me.  Here she is offering me all this love and I want to throw her out.  Isn’t this what I’ve wanted my whole life… someone to just love me unconditionally?  I started to ask myself, what the hell is wrong with me.  I hadn’t noticed until then that when I first woke up I wasn’t feeling anything at all… it was all thought, and none of it very good.

But now, I was feeling good…  I rolled over to face her… I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was… how good she felt in my arms.  She got me out of my head with all its crazy thoughts, and into my body.  When I’m centered in my body, I feel good… when I feel good, I thank God for the feeling… when I thank God for the feeling, I appreciate life… when I appreciate life, I see the beauty of life everywhere.

And then it hit me, what my problem was and always has been… I’m so dam selfish!  I’d rather hang onto my own miserable thoughts than allow myself to experience the love that is constantly being offered to me by my creator through whatever is present in the moment.  I hold onto my own ideas at all costs.  It’s like I thumb my nose at the gift of life and try to create my own version of heaven, which usually turns out to be hell.

I read recently that the highest thoughts are those that contain joy… the highest words are those that contain truth… the highest feelings are those that we call love… these things are of God… anything else is not of God.  It matters not where you begin… one always leads to the other… thought… word… deed…

When she offered me the love and I let myself have it, my feelings changed… when my feelings changed, I told her how wonderful she was… when I told her the truth, my thoughts changed and I couldn’t even remember what I was worried about… I was living in God’s world… full of appreciation and love.  And by leaving the sex out there was no danger of perverting this moment into something selfish.

I recognized that it is only my selfish pursuit of my misdirected thoughts that produce my own misery.  Thank you God for that awareness!

You Can’t Help It

I was talking with a friend today about walking in the real world, not the world as we see it with our physical eyes, but in the world as our creator sees it.  We had a conversation around asking for the right perception as we go through today’s day.  We both committed to ask for the presence that is who ‘I am’, our soul, our spirit, our savior, or just plain something (#1 name for God) to guide us and show us how to walk in this day… each step.

Now I know I won’t be able to do that perfectly, probably, if I’m  lucky (Gods nickname), I’ll remember to ask for that presence a few times today.  But, if I don’t quit, I can’t fail.  If I do it today as often as I can and I do it one day at a time, I’ll build an awareness of what it feels like.  As we walked together in this conversation, my friend said to me “I feel like I’m walking in the Garden of Eden”.  And we were, because when I let go of the “things” of the world (all my thoughts), the truth underlying them presents itself in its fullness and the world, as it was intended by its creator is revealed.

As we were saying our goodbyes, my friend was thanking me and I was thanking him and he was saying how grateful he was for our little talk.  I shouted out to him “you can’t help it”.  And you can’t help it.  The truth does not need my help.  I need to align myself with it.  When I do, I can see the world new in each moment, when I don’t and I try to help it along, I get caught in the mire and lose my awareness of love’s presence.  That’s okay, I’m going to do that, but as often as I can, I can let go and ask for that presence to be there and it will because the truth is always true, everywhere, and in all ways.  Thank you very much!

Recreation (take five)

Here’s what five minutes of meditation brought me this morning.

My thought life is unmanageable.  There is no way I can be satisfied by what my mind comes up with by itself.  What does that mean?  It means I am more than my mind.  Who I am is a three-part being, soul, mind, and body.  Because I never developed my soul, I try to figure out my life with my mind alone… bypass my soul…  and take action with my body.  I’m constantly chasing my tail.  I have to let go of my thoughts and allow who(?) I am, to be there.  The spiritual man.

Nothing I know from the neck up will save me.  What am I being saved from?  My mis-taken beliefs of who, “I think”, I am!

I get quiet…  use my words… to ask that presence… that is who… I am… to stop my thoughts… move into my heart…  feel that presence beating my heart…  breathing my breath.  When I feel that presence…  I am open to receive…   ideas…  flowing from my source… which inspires (inwardly spirits) my mind…  to create that which I am here to create.  My mind… is myend… of the one mind (of God).  When I pause…  and re-member who, I am…  creation expresses itself through me…  to create…  in harmony with other myends…  the world…  as creation intends it to be.

Now that I am in my heart…  inspirit-a-tion is flowing in…  as…  and through me.  I can take action…  using my body and mind, in the physical world…  to put these words on paper… to re-mind you…  to re-member…  who you are.  However, I’m still new at this.  I have an undisciplined mind… it runs on its own… most of the time… I disconnect from inspiration… the source of my creation… all day long…  and try to live on myend power alone.  When that happens…  I experience pain… discomfort… negativity… I have temporarily forgotten who I am.  I need you…whoever you are…  to re-mind me… of who… I am.  We are not a-lone, we are all-one!  We need… each… other.   Let’s co-operate and re-create together…  the world…  as it was always intended to be.

Join us for a little recreation… as we utilize percussion instruments in a drum circle setting to re-cognize, how to get, and stay, connected… both  individually… and collectively… to the one whole…

Send your email address to paul@possidude.com to get on our mailing list.  We’ll let you know where, in the southern California area, you can “get yourself connected”.

Till then just… take five……

Naked Prayer

I got up one morning and forgot to do my normal prayer and meditation.   While sitting on the toilet, naked, the thought came ‘why not meditate here?’.   I was shocked, once again, to see how much resistance I had to even consider such an idea.  I mean, I know it doesn’t matter where I pray, but the idea of being naked, sitting on the throne, where all that “dirty stuff goes on” and mixing that with prayer…  well it felt blasphemous!

It’s always a strange feeling when I question my old belief system.  I talk about letting go and letting God all the time…  having no secrets… it’s just me and God… and still somehow, my training in right and wrong thinking insists that this is wrong.  It’s the most private and natural setting for prayer, let’s face it. It is the one place we all let go and sit naked before our creator (our creator being everywhere).  So what’s the big deal?  Then it came to me, it isn’t where I pray but my earnest desire to commune with my creator that mattered.

I don’t know who told me there was a place for prayer and a place for poop and never the twain shall meet, but they were wrong… there is no place that God is not!  If I pray, that makes me a pray er and my very life becomes a living prayer… everywhere I go!

The “Fund a MentaI Ideas” of God (part1)

“Deep down in every man woman and child is the fundamental idea of God.” I never thought of God as an idea, I always thought of God as a being, a physical presence, an entity separate from me. When I began to look at that statement and consider it for what it actually says a “fundamental idea”. It says God is the “fund” of “mental ideas”, or that from which all ideas come. Ideas then are God, and thoughts are our representation of these ideas. Our con-fusion comes when we “think” we created the idea and believe we are separate from our creator.

It can be looked at as lightning. God is the lightning and we stand-under it but we cannot under-stand God because that is not our minds function. The minds function is to express the perfect idea of God experiencing itself as us and surrender the thoughts which seemingly stand in the way of its perfect expression.

These ideas, presenting themselves as us, are continuously re-presenting themselves new in each moment. Our thoughts can only appear to separate us from that which we are a part. Knowing (not a mind function and often confused with faith) allows us to not just accept each moment as perfect but to choose the next greatest vision of what we image in as possible in each new moment called now.

Contamination – Hazardous Thinking

I took a HazMat training course for a company I once worked for.  One of the things I remembered is the statement that;  “dilution is not an acceptable form of disposal”.  The premise being that contamination still exists, although only in a minuscule amount and it has the potential to grow and multiply rapidly.  Without treatment the hazard is still there.

I’ve heard it said that if you keep pouring clean water in a container of dirty water, eventually it will become clear and clean.  However, according to science, it’s still contaminated.  Another way to put it is “if you start out from contamination and don’t treat it properly, it still exists, even though you might not be able to see it”.  Having a choice, it’s a no brain er to drink from a pure source rather than one that’s contaminated.

What we’re really talking about here is the principle of contamination.  Once something has become contaminated it needs to be treated or it can’t be used without further contamination.

What about our minds?  Haven’t we contaminated our minds with some of the thoughts we have?  We have so many mistaken ideas and wrong beliefs in our mind.  Is it any wonder the world is in the shape it’s in?  So what do we do… we try to have good thoughts…  we pour good thoughts into our mind… positive thoughts…  our thinking becomes clearer…   we feel better…  things seem to be clearing up…  but… according to the rule of dilution, our minds are still contaminated. Often it only takes one bad event…  one wrong thought…  and we start that troubled thinking again.  The virus, bacteria, or contaminates grows.  It multiplies rapidly until we’re back to toxic contamination, and negative thinking again.  So, you ask, how can we treat this mind to get rid of the contamination?  The answer is we can’t.

We have to start with a new container, an open mind.  A mind not occupied by our thoughts.  The good news is; there is, within each of us, a clear stream or pool of uncontaminated consciousness that we can go to for clean, clear inspiration.  It can’t be contaminated by the world; it is the essence of all that we are.  All that’s required is a letting go of the contaminated container, a simple request, and an openness to receive what comes.  A new container (like when you partition off a section of your hard drive because your computer has become corrupted) filled from a pure source and a living from that new container.  The corrupt container is still there, you just no longer use it.  We have a tendency to go back to the contaminated container because it’s so familiar to us.  It’s all we’ve ever known.  We can tell however, when we use the wrong container…   it just doesn’t feel right.  Every time that happens…  I mean every time….. just stop…. become quiet and ask.  That’s all it takes……

As we build an awareness that we’re using the wrong container we become more willing to surrender the corrupt thinking and begin again, new, from purity.  It has been described as being born again…  the living waters…  the water of life… Zen mind…  Christ consciousness…  and countless other names.  It is the surrender of the contaminated, corrupt, world view and the recognition of, and surrender to, the pure, divine consciousness that has always been there underneath our corrupt thinking.

Taking it A.P.A.R.T. so it can come together is a method that, when applied, treats contamination of thoughts.  Awareness of mistaken thin king; Pause and become still; Ask for peace, inspiration; Receive something (the most commonly used name for God); Trust, take action on what you received.

Thank you for taking time to read this.  Your soul knows the truth!  Go with the soul.

Pain is The Pay-In

A wise man once said ‘pain is the touchstone of all spiritual growth’.  I never really got that before, it seemed pretty hard to me.  Why would I want pain?  It seemed the object of life was to avoid as much pain as possible.  I mean really, who likes pain?

I began to question; what if the pain is, in actuality, the price we have to pay, our admission fee, to this thing we call life.  It’s the cost for the opportunity to express the living presence in us in physical form.  As I begin to look at life from a pay-in perspective and notice the way pain presents itself to me, I can see that it sometimes doesn’t look like pain on the surface, but underneath any emotional upset is this pain.  Underneath everything, from the death of a loved one to someone cutting me off in traffic, is pain, the cost of being alive.  Once I can accept this apparent pain, something else begins to present itself to me…  a larger view, a bigger perspective… the pain actually opens me up to a much fuller experience of life… if I don’t listen to what my mind tries to tell me about what the pain means.  Then what I find is that the pay-in has actually forced me to stop using my mind as the end all be all for my life and purchased me the entrance fee to who, in truth, I am.  I re-member, become a member once again, of who and what I am, an equal part of the whole.  One.

We are all connected… to everything… but it goes way beyond my mind’s capacity to under-stand it.  That’s what the pain is for, so I can re-member…  I am so much more than my mind.  If, rather than always trying to under-stand life from my mind’s perspective, I remember who I  am and stand-under that truth, I am then free and in harmony with all of life.

The argument that my mind comes up with every time I try this is the pain, re-presented in another form.  Another opportunity to remember, to get myself connected.   Standing under the truth of who I am I can see pain as the pay-in I gladly surrender to, recognizing it as all good…  every bit of it… it’s all God.

Used to Be and Used to Have

I am not who I “used to be”.  I ‘used’ people, places, and things to ‘be’ who I “thought” I should be.  When the things I used were taken away, nothing was left.  Or so I thought.  Turns out, who “I am” is infinitely more than I ever thought I could be.  Most of us are afraid of our own power, not our personal power but the real power that operates in us, through us, and as us.  How could that be, you ask?

Imagine, if you will, all of us, each and every one, constantly being inspired with new thoughts and ideas from our creator.  As children we began to receive these inspirations.  Remember now, they’re brand new, never been on the planet before.  We try to express these ideas to someone, our parents, maybe.  But to them, these ideas sound strange, they never heard anything like them before of course, because they’re new.  Our parents go to their brain (the database of info) and the brain says, ‘ridiculous, nothing like that here’.  So your parents turn to you and say something like “don’t be ridiculous, that’s a crazy idea”.

We don’t want to be looked at as crazy, so we push the idea away…  this doesn’t just happen one time…  over and over again…  don’t be stupid… you’re crazy…  that will never work… or, my personal favorite “who do you think you are?”.  All of this of course makes us question the truth moving through us and we begin to separate ourselves from who we are and we learn to shut of the inspiration.  We can’t really do this but we can dismiss it as “ridiculous” instantly, using our brain’s programmed logic.  Internally, we “know” something is missing and we begin the game of trying to find that ‘something’ outside of ourselves.

I “used to have” a lot of things.  I “used” people, places, and things so I could “have” what I thought would make me happy (although my ego was very good at hiding this).  If only I had more money, property, prestige, more people loved me, more sex, ad infinitum.  You get the picture.  It never works for very long.

The bottom line, we’re afraid.  Afraid of who we really are.  Afraid of a power, that power, that I am presence that is our very source, the power that beats our heart and breathes our breath, call it what you will.  We “think” the power is outside of ourselves.  In that character we made from our imagined reality, we feel unworthy of its presence.  We try to project that power outside of our self and then judge our self with our own projection.  Insane, isn’t it. (so our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making… although we usually don’t think so)  Check your own track record.  See if it isn’t true in your life.

The character (ego) that we made doesn’t give up easily.  It will try to deny these accusations.  Like weeds, the ego just wants to survive, but if we don’t want weeds in our yard or our ego running our life anymore we have to recognize, and get rid of them every time they pop up.  But just like ridding the yard of weeds doesn’t create the yard we desire, we have to put the things we love in, so we can create that life we desire.  It’s important to remember, however:  there’s only One Garden.

The creativity that is who I am needs to co-operate with the creativity of that I am presence in you to produce what our creator intended us to experience.  Every aspect of creation is equally important and necessary.  You already know this.  I am simple re-minding you in case you temporarily forgot, so you can re-mind me when I do.

The Twelve Steps are a method I apply that can remove the weeds from my garden, there are countless others.  If you seek out a method you will find it.  Seek out an experienced gardener that uses that method and learn from them.  You may even create your own method although that’s a lot more difficult.  If you do, do it with a friend, because the ego can’t see itself.

In moments of self-doubt, when the world tells you you’re crazy and nothing makes sense, and you don’t think you’ll make it, and you can’t remember anything you’ve ever read:

Be still and know, “I am God!” and “I am with you always!”

We Are Love

I’ve heard it said that if we could actually be touched by God we wouldn’t be able to handle it.  It would overwhelm our physical body and blow out our senses.  Too much love to handle?  Could there be such a thing?  It’s hard to conceive of that much love.  Perhaps that’s what happens to us when we suddenly, and often for no apparent reason, have an emotional recognition of beauty or love and we’re touched by the spirit or God within.  It overwhelms us.  We jump into our heads to try to figure out what happened and we dismiss it as a ‘miracle’.

Our heads tell us we are separate from that love and so, unworthy of it.  We won’t consider the possibility that, that love,  is who we really are.  We believe our minds when they present us with all the seeming evidence as to why we aren’t love.  We cannot grasp that love goes way beyond the capacity of the mind to understand it, and so we live in an imagined reality.  We actually choose to go into the darkness of something that isn’t true rather than accept the truth, we are love.  Our choice doesn’t change the truth however; it does block our awareness of it.

Let me share an experience I had recently:  I was struggling with some financial matters, taxes, the AC went out in my car, a traffic fine, an unstable income, etc.  I intellectually know that I’m connected to my creator and can’t possibly lose that connection because it is who I am but the seeming evidence of a lack of money was all I could see.  In fact that was what my mind was obsessing about.  However it didn’t stop there.  Once I went into the darkness of what my mind was telling me, it got worse.  My mind literally attacked me with the ‘evidence’ of, not only was I broke, I was a failure, everybody knew it and it was just a matter of time before I’m homeless.  (In the absence of truth, the illusion seems real)

It shook me.  I’d been there before many times and knew it wasn’t true but still I doubted the truth of who I am.  I got up the next morning and wanted to act out in a way that I knew wouldn’t help.  Instead, I began a conversation with my higher Self.  I asked the question “What is the real problem here?”   I picked up a pen and paper and what came to me was:

“The only problem I ever have is… I miss my Self”.

My higher Self is the piece (peace) of God in me.  When I walk into the darkness of my mind’s illusions, I forget who I am and … I miss my Self.  I am literally “beside my Self” and I think I’m someone I’m not.

The sudden recognition of the truth, that I am love, flooded over me, washing away all my illusions as I wept in joy (enjoy) … it was so powerful…    my mind told me it was too much… I just laughed… it just kept coming… and I let it… laughing and crying as I walked down the road.

Nothing in my outer world changed, yet my entire being changed.  The grace of God is not outside of me and when I let go, I experience it as my life.

It was then that the words from the method I practice came to mind:

out of every season of grief or suffering, when the hand of God seemed heavy or even unjust, new lessons for living were learned, new resources of courage were uncovered, and that finally, inescapably, the conviction came that God does “move in a mysterious way His wonders to perform”.