The Core of Selfishness

I woke up around 5:45 am and started planning my day, the problems I might have, how to get it all done, the regular stuff.  I managed to mumble some kind of a prayer about God directing my thinking.  When I rolled over, my girlfriend was standing there wishing me a good morning….

She lives a few houses away.  I told her a hundred times I need my space in the morning and I felt the anger start.  I wanted to yell at her and throw her out, but I ‘knew’ something else… she climbed into bed (fully clothed) and wrapped herself around me… I asked God, what is going on here?  I just let, what is, be.  I started to feel something in my stomach… it felt good… this woman loved me.  Here she is offering me all this love and I want to throw her out.  Isn’t this what I’ve wanted my whole life… someone to just love me unconditionally?  I started to ask myself, what the hell is wrong with me.  I hadn’t noticed until then that when I first woke up I wasn’t feeling anything at all… it was all thought, and none of it very good.

But now, I was feeling good…  I rolled over to face her… I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was… how good she felt in my arms.  She got me out of my head with all its crazy thoughts, and into my body.  When I’m centered in my body, I feel good… when I feel good, I thank God for the feeling… when I thank God for the feeling, I appreciate life… when I appreciate life, I see the beauty of life everywhere.

And then it hit me, what my problem was and always has been… I’m so dam selfish!  I’d rather hang onto my own miserable thoughts than allow myself to experience the love that is constantly being offered to me by my creator through whatever is present in the moment.  I hold onto my own ideas at all costs.  It’s like I thumb my nose at the gift of life and try to create my own version of heaven, which usually turns out to be hell.

I read recently that the highest thoughts are those that contain joy… the highest words are those that contain truth… the highest feelings are those that we call love… these things are of God… anything else is not of God.  It matters not where you begin… one always leads to the other… thought… word… deed…

When she offered me the love and I let myself have it, my feelings changed… when my feelings changed, I told her how wonderful she was… when I told her the truth, my thoughts changed and I couldn’t even remember what I was worried about… I was living in God’s world… full of appreciation and love.  And by leaving the sex out there was no danger of perverting this moment into something selfish.

I recognized that it is only my selfish pursuit of my misdirected thoughts that produce my own misery.  Thank you God for that awareness!

Why do we think…

Why do we think we have to have all the answers in our little pea brains?  I got an email that suggested we look at life in terms of what we know about our universe, Just the stuff we think we know… like how long it has been around, about 14 billion years.  Then look at all that time as if it were just one year.  Man didn’t even show up until the last couple million… somewhere around Dec 15th… and right now is like 11:45pm on Dec 31st.  Kind of silly, with all the information that has taken place in all that time and we only have a few years here… that we would pretend to know anything at all… don’t you think?

But, as we say; ‘man is the highest form of life on the planet’!  How arrogant we all are…. you think it’s possible we missed something here?  Look at the job we’re doing as conservators, we still kill each other… heck we can’t even get along in our own families or with our own neighbors… yet we keep moving along… destroying the planet and all life on it… waiting for someday…

Yet, while we’re waiting, don’t you think we could have a little conversation about… say who we are, really?  Not what the books tell us… but what we already know inside,…if we but take the time… and dare to listen.  What if we just asked seven simple questions and we shared with our friends, family, or anyone really, the answers we got.  No fear… it’s just a conversation… maybe even at Starbucks… just once a week… heck you’re there anyway.  We know it’s not working the way we’re doing it, so why not re-thynk-it (think again a little differently).

I’d like to start one in the San Dimas / La Verne, Ca. area.  Anybody interested just reply to this post with best time and day that works for you. Remember, we’re not trying to do anything, we are just talking about being who we are.

Why don’t you start your own conversation, where you live?   All the info you need is at:

The “Fund-a-Mental Ideas of God (part 2)

The perfect idea (God)…  expressing itself through me (man)…  is the I am(i) presence…  that is my be-ing (festering)…  made flesh.  When I take action, I re-present that perfect idea of God and re-create that idea new in each moment.  God (being those ideas that express through me), empowers me to express myself in however I choose.  Only when I fail to recognize the source of all ideas do I shut of the flow of inspiration that continuously offers itself as me and create a false self based on selfish and self  centered thoughts about the way “I think” it should be.  I still have the ability to create in the image and likeness of my creator, to man-i-fest what I want, but without a re-membering of who I am in my fullness, no peace will be found, just an insatiable desire for more.

God is perfection, nothing needs to be accomplished, it already is, it just needs to be re-cognized by each individual piece of its creation, which then re-presents the peace that passeth all understanding.  As God so revealed to Neale Walsh: to re-member is to become a member once again of the body of God.

Ask and You Shall Receive

We need to be re-mind-ed because we appear to have forgotten who we are.  Everyone knows no one should be homeless… no one should go hungry… no one should hurt another, never mind kill.  Everyone knows no one should live in fear… everyone knows we need to help each other… that no one should go without healthcare.  No one needs to tell you these things, it doesn’t require a degree or any education at all…  we all know them…. Why… because we are all…. Each of us…. A part… not apart… or separate from… but an equal part… of the one whole called humanity.   We have given or very souls over to our Thin King…..  the very shallow, limited part of us we call our thinking.  Our thin-king is only one part of who we are… when we forget that, we get in trouble…  When we forget that… we can be tricked, manipulated, used and disposed off… in a New York minute.   Isn’t it time we woke up?   No matter how conned and fused we are, we always know what truth is.  The truth can’t be created or destroyed it simple is … and the truth will set you free.

If I know these truths like it says in our constitution.. we hold these truths to be self-evident… what part of us knows them… it surely isn’t our minds…. At least not the ones we’ve been living from… so there must be something else present in us that knows these truths.

Instead of asking our minds what we can do and coming up with that same old “nothing”…  why not ask the part that does know what to do, how we can change?   Ask and you shall receive, the man said.   Well ask!  Ask yourself…  but first ask the question, “Who are you?”.  Then be still and know I am God.  I am a live in you.  I am your very life expressing myself in as and through you.  I am with you always and in all ways.  I am the way, the truth, and the light.  Did you think I was kidding?

You have been listening to a storage device I gave you to function in the world called your mind.  Your mind is full of artificial intelligence but it is not who I am.  I am all you are but you are not all I am.  I have and will continue to offer you all I am.  When you co-operate with me, you feel Good, when you choose otherwise you don’t.  It is that simple!  You cannot change who I am but you can have a larger experience of it by co-operating with other expressions of who I am.

It’s not going to happen overnight.   You can’t just throw the whole world in reverse but you know you can’t believe the lies anymore… that there’s nothing you can do…  that’s just the way it is…  what can one person do… etc.

It all begins with a conversation I have with whoever’s listening when I’m by myself.  Can’t I just go into my heart of hearts and ask my creator…  what would you have me do?…  how do I be the person I came here to be?…  never mind all the stuff I think I know…  can I just start fresh today, this day?…  can you in-spire me with a brand new idea and give me the courage to share it with others?

Of course I can!  And you can too…   even if no one else does!  Change happens from the inside out!

Get Yourself Connected:  Connecting with who I am connects me:  … to my creator  … to others  … to the community  … to the world!

We Are Love

I’ve heard it said that if we could actually be touched by God we wouldn’t be able to handle it.  It would overwhelm our physical body and blow out our senses.  Too much love to handle?  Could there be such a thing?  It’s hard to conceive of that much love.  Perhaps that’s what happens to us when we suddenly, and often for no apparent reason, have an emotional recognition of beauty or love and we’re touched by the spirit or God within.  It overwhelms us.  We jump into our heads to try to figure out what happened and we dismiss it as a ‘miracle’.

Our heads tell us we are separate from that love and so, unworthy of it.  We won’t consider the possibility that, that love,  is who we really are.  We believe our minds when they present us with all the seeming evidence as to why we aren’t love.  We cannot grasp that love goes way beyond the capacity of the mind to understand it, and so we live in an imagined reality.  We actually choose to go into the darkness of something that isn’t true rather than accept the truth, we are love.  Our choice doesn’t change the truth however; it does block our awareness of it.

Let me share an experience I had recently:  I was struggling with some financial matters, taxes, the AC went out in my car, a traffic fine, an unstable income, etc.  I intellectually know that I’m connected to my creator and can’t possibly lose that connection because it is who I am but the seeming evidence of a lack of money was all I could see.  In fact that was what my mind was obsessing about.  However it didn’t stop there.  Once I went into the darkness of what my mind was telling me, it got worse.  My mind literally attacked me with the ‘evidence’ of, not only was I broke, I was a failure, everybody knew it and it was just a matter of time before I’m homeless.  (In the absence of truth, the illusion seems real)

It shook me.  I’d been there before many times and knew it wasn’t true but still I doubted the truth of who I am.  I got up the next morning and wanted to act out in a way that I knew wouldn’t help.  Instead, I began a conversation with my higher Self.  I asked the question “What is the real problem here?”   I picked up a pen and paper and what came to me was:

“The only problem I ever have is… I miss my Self”.

My higher Self is the piece (peace) of God in me.  When I walk into the darkness of my mind’s illusions, I forget who I am and … I miss my Self.  I am literally “beside my Self” and I think I’m someone I’m not.

The sudden recognition of the truth, that I am love, flooded over me, washing away all my illusions as I wept in joy (enjoy) … it was so powerful…    my mind told me it was too much… I just laughed… it just kept coming… and I let it… laughing and crying as I walked down the road.

Nothing in my outer world changed, yet my entire being changed.  The grace of God is not outside of me and when I let go, I experience it as my life.

It was then that the words from the method I practice came to mind:

out of every season of grief or suffering, when the hand of God seemed heavy or even unjust, new lessons for living were learned, new resources of courage were uncovered, and that finally, inescapably, the conviction came that God does “move in a mysterious way His wonders to perform”.

Monkey Business

The twelve steps not only saved my life but they have given me a method of living that is more than I ever imagined I could have and I’m just scratching the surface! Sometimes it seems so serious, people die and terrible looking things happen to people every day.  But it’s just all a bunch of monkey business!

This is for all my twelve step brothers and sisters:

Step One:  I become aware that the monkeys (my obsessive thoughts or behaviors) are out of my control and I pause.  Step Two: I search and research with an open mind, asking a power greater than my mind; please quiet the monkeys down, and it does.  Step Three:  I make a decision, from my own experiences, to surrender the quieting of the monkeys to that power.  Step Four:  (after the monkeys are quieted down) I put my pen on the paper and the monkeys run down my arm onto the paper.  Step Five:  I then look at the individual monkeys objectively, with a friend.  Step Six:  I ask, the power I found in two and three to remove the monkeys I’m ready, willing, and able to let go of.  Step Seven:  I ask that power to show me what to do instead of monkey-ing around.  Step Eight:  I make a list of anyone damaged by the monkeys.  Step Nine:  I correct, the best I can, the monkey business of the past.  Step Ten:  the monkeys had babies and now they’re growing up, this step treats them as they grow.  Step Eleven:  keeps the downloads (how to live monkey free) coming from the inner-net, via inspiration, on a daily basis.  Step Twelve:  I recognize and accept that the monkeys are everywhere but my new character isn’t in the monkey business… and I help others find a power that can treat their monkeys.

My experience is you’ll either go ape over this information or it will drive you bananas!

The Experience of Truth

As we continue to build a lasting connection to our spirit we become happily and usefully whole. Once we connect with our wholeness, we need nothing. We are then free to make the connection to a larger whole. A whole family. A whole community. A whole country, or maybe a Whole World! Continue reading

A.P.A.R.T. – Awareness

How do we talk about awareness?  What is it and how do we know we are aware?  Great questions.  One way to look at it is:  Awareness is to be conscious of oneself as the watcher, the witness to ourself, what we are thinking or what we’re doing.  There is the I that is writing this and the I that is watching me write.  It’s easy to see when we are doing something that requires us to consciously think, we can we watch our thoughts, and then ask ourself about those thoughts.  But what about when we aren’t even aware we are thinking, like most of the time?  How do we remember we are not our thoughts?

We are not our thoughts?

Wait a minute!  If I’m not my thoughts, then what am I?  An even better question!  Another way to look at it might be:  Whatever thoughts I’m having are just thoughts, they are just something I’m doing, but they aren’t who I am.  The mind defends itself and immediately pulls up all the past data it has stored since it’s been on the planet, in an attempt to stop the suggestion that I am not it.  It will sidetrack us: it will go to righteous indignation, it holds trial, presents overwhelming evidence to support its case, it attacks, uses denial or even outright rebellion at the mere suggestion, that we are not our minds.

We are not our minds?

Awareness is the recognition of what is, it is what is apparent in the moment.  We lose our awareness when we become captured by a mind that tells us “about” what the apparent moment means.  Because “we think” we are our mind, we believe what it tells us is true.  In short, we forgot we are not our minds and we become disconnected from the truth, what is.  We can never really lose our connection but we can become unaware of it.

Awareness is the first tool, or principle, we can apply to reconnect ourselves with who we really are and so discover our real(ident)ity. The mind has built many programs designed to protect itself from perceived attack or even acknowledgement of any other authority.  Quite often the only way awareness presents itself  is just the re-cognition that the mind is defending itself; you are angry, upset, argumentative, rebellious, defiant, or just don’t like the way you feel.

The solution to all our problems does not lie in the mind, that is what created the problem!  Awareness is the first step in the solution process.  Just know this; it is not required that you like it, you probably won’t, but you will learn and grow from it each and every time, if you follow the remaining steps.

What to do next….  Pause, step II

Get Yourself Connected (the solution)

We shake hands all the time.  What does the hand represent?  It is a group of five fingers making up a whole, hand.  We take it for granted and never realize how important it is, till we don’t have it anymore.  Groups are what our world is made of.  The dictionary defines a group as; many components gathered together for a purpose. 

Using our hand as an example, what if we cut off a finger, is it still a group?  Yes, but it’s not the same group is it?  We can learn to adapt to the new group but we’ll always know something is missing, it isn’t complete.  It isn’t what it was intended to be.  Intended, by who?  By whoever created it!  Intuitively, we will always know something is missing.  The other fingers will have to over-develop to accomplish things they were never intended to do.  We often try to go outside the group, called our hand, to try to fill the hole. 

We even go so far in over-developing the other fingers and using things outside the group that we convince ourselves, we never really needed that finger at all.  But we can see the missing finger so we are always reminded of what’s missing.

Each of us, individually, is a group.  We have three basic components; body, mind, spirit (that part that goes by many names, soul, energy, life force, etc).  Whatever you call that third part, it is the part that makes us alive.  It’s actually more, who we are, than the other two.  We develop our bodies, we work out, exercise, procreate, etc.  and we are always thinking, developing our minds, but what about the spiritual part?  You can’t physically see it, so it isn’t as easily recognized.

Take a larger group, the human group; many components that make up a whole for the purpose of being human.  Humans are the only group that has the ability to choose to believe they are separate from their group.  It’s not the truth but they can think it is, and so, forget who they are. 

The problem is the solution.  We have failed to develop, talk about, or even acknowledge our spiritual life.  I’m not talking about religion.  I’m talking about who we really are, as three parts making up a whole.  We have lost our connection to who we are.  Intuitively we know this and so we try to use our intellect and our bodies to make up for it.  When that fails, we reach outside for more of everything, and it hasn’t worked.  More always seems like an answer but it’s an illusion.  A group can never be made complete from the outside. 

We try to forget that we are all human beings, equal parts of the whole and the result is the world we presently live in.  The answer is always inside the group.  All great teachers have taught us to be still and know.  The answer is there all ready for us, one piece at a time.  It doesn’t come from thinking, economics, or politics, it comes from re-member-ing, becoming a member once again of the body of God ( CwG) as a human being, and acting accordingly.

 Connecting to any group helps us connect to all groups.  It is our connection that brings us out of our self constructed prison of isolation we create by the mistaken belief in separation.  Talking with each other about our group connection re-minds us of who we really are…  equal parts of the Whole.