NegaDude is a compilation of the negative beliefs I’ve been taught, learned, picked up, accepted, and subconsciously believe are true about who I am and what everything means. It’s not real, but I think it is. When I listen to NegaDude, he always asks the wrong questions. Why is this traffic so bad? What if I can’t pay the rent? Why is it so hard? Why am I always just getting by? What if it doesn’t work out? Why don’t I have more friends? Why doesn’t anyone like me? What’s wrong with me, you, or… you name it?
NegaDude then goes into the past to find answers to these questions. Ever notice he never finds anything good to say? He seems only to remember our mistakes and our, not so good, experiences and then says “see, that’s why”, and then he condemns us, with our final judgment! NegaDude speaks with such authority that we have learned not to question him. After all, he has so much evidence, “the truth” he calls it. And certainly we all make mistakes, but mistakes aren’t who we are. They are just actions we took or didn’t take and we can choose differently today. It seems overwhelming, at times, because the world (the people that think they know us) will reinforce our belief in NegaDude. You see, everyone has a NegaDude in them, and their NegaDude tells them who we are. That’s why we need PossiDude.
After our condemnation, NegaDude then offers solutions, he seems like such a nice guy, making promises. I know what you need, he says. You need a new car… everything will be alright if only… they appreciated me… I made x amount of money… I bought that new place… she really loved me… I had a membership to the club… on and on… but when I got those things, NegaDude just destroyed the very thing I asked for…. I didn’t realize how needy they are… I have more expenses I need more… this mortgage is killing me… I should have bought the V-8… All of NegaDude’s solutions are on the outside.
It’s important to remember that if I try to fight NegaDude, I just give him my power. The only power NegaDude has, I give him! NegaDude believes he’s real and he’s just trying to survive, just like a weed in the grass, you can never completely get rid of it, but we don’t want it there, that’s why we weed regularly.
Once we recognize (in truth, our PossiDude reminds us) that we’ve been listening to NegaDude. We can make a new choice, “oh, it’s you again NegaDude”. Pause… let go of our thoughts for a minute or two… really get quiet… maybe sit in the restroom for a minute… and then begin a conversation with PossiDude. Ask for his help. How should I see this based on who I really am, not who I think I am?
As adults, we’ve had way too many years listening to NegaDude. Isn’t it time we cut it out? Begin a new conversation, right now. If we don’t do it, we can’t give it to our children. You are invited to share your experiences on this blog, you don’t even have to do it, just let the PossiDude in you do it. We need your positive experience. Just comment on a post. Let us know how you’re doing. PossiDude has many names.